Neuroscience Nuggets #1: Vanilla Yogurt Victory

Since the third lockdown ended in France last month it feels like the hose has come off the hydrant. All of my pending projects are suddenly “on! “and coming at me full blast. 

I’m not complaining, I’m excited about them all, especially the neuroscience for coaches certificate program that I’m taking at  The Neuroscience School

This program is quite literally BLOWING. MY. MIND.

I’m dying to spill everything I’ve learned so far out on this page but I’ll start with this seminal nugget:

Neuroplastic changes within our brains translate into concrete behavioral changes in our daily decisions and actions. And it goes both ways. The more you practice and perpetuate certain behaviors, the deeper and faster the grooves in the brain become to support them.

As a coach, my job is to help my clients define and achieve their goals. And the gold standard to see if the brain has re-organized itself to achieve those goals is to look at how our behaviors have changed over a period of time.

Which takes me to the victory of vanilla yogurt.

Around mid-way through my coaching program with my clients I do a recap session to inventory every single thing that has changed or shifted in my client’s life since we began together.

Every item counts. Even the smallest, seemingly-random thing is relevant. Like a change of haircut. A new musical obsession. A shift in diet. 

These may seem insignificant when viewed on their own, but when you connect their dots together you can start to see some emerging themes appear—evidence that the neural pathways are starting to shift and strengthen inside the brain. 

Recently when taking inventory with one of my clients she told me she had started eating vanilla yogurt after a two-decade ban on that yummy yummy.

As a child, vanilla yogurt was her jam. She adored it. But as she grew older she told herself that eating it didn’t fit the rational, cerebral, mature habits associated with the serious adult she needed to become personally and professionally. 

Vanilla yogurt was the embodiment of a certain playfulness and joy she believed didn’t have its place in adulthood.  

She would still buy it at the supermarket and offer it to her four kids for dessert, but she would never think of eating it herself. That’s just not what adults do. 

But as our discussions around the value of playfulness, humor and joy in her life unfolded, her relationship to the yogurt changed too. And she allowed herself to eat a small pot of vanilla yogurt whenever she felt like it. 

For my client, the yogurt is much more than fragranced, sweetened, bacterially-fermented milk: it’s proof of a perceptual and behavioral shift towards creating and celebrating small, simple pleasures in life. 

It’s about assigning value to joy. 

And making space for it daily. 

Not in a six months or a year, but right now. 

In addition to the vanilla yogurt, she’s also buying bouquets of flowers at the market each week for no specific occasion, she’s starting to sculpt again, she’s dancing with her kids, she’s cracking more jokes at the dinner table.

And all of these changes are training her brain to find even bigger ways to bring joy into her life, as well as her career. 

What vanilla yogurt behavior changes are brining you closer to your goals?

Celebrating International Women's Day 2021

Illustration by pikisuperstar

I spend most of my days in the presence of exceptional women I never would have met had I not become a coach.


Moments with them are like magic gold nuggets. It’s just the two of us. The focus is sharp. The exploration is deep. The energy is crispy, but warm.


Each session opens the trust vault just that much wider to identify and define deep aspirations and desires that haven’t been expressed before.


I often feel like cracking open the walls of the room (or the screen of the computer) so that the entire world can appreciate the gem of a person I have growing in front of me.

So, in honor of March 8th, International Women’s Day, I’m going to do just that—break open the screen so that my everyday heroes, my creative muses and inspiration can share their visions, their struggles and their brave transformation stories with you.


These are women who have completely revamped their professional identities in the time I’ve known them, shedding the safety and recognition of classic careers for deeply personal missions, leading many of them down the entrepreneurial path. Even though their journeys have (and continue to be) full of fear and doubt, their intuition tells them to persist. They are brave and inspiring and knowing them has made me not only a better coach, but a better person.


So without further ado, please say hello to the eight exceptional women I’ve chosen to honor on this International Women’s Day for 2021.

---

Anne Razafy

Fondatrice, Spirit Every Day

 “J'étais chargée de mission dans le contrôle de gestion dans une grande boîte française quand j’ai commencé mon coaching. Je ne pouvais plus me voir passer à côté d'une partie de ma vie, de ma vocation. Mon coeur m'enjoignais à transformer ma vie professionnelle mais ma tête, c'était une toute autre histoire. J’ai finalement décidé de quitter mon CDI pour créer une activité en accord avec ma vocation : guider, accompagner, et coacher en alliant spiritualité, mindset (pensée créatrice) et bientôt human design. Et mon petit plus, c'est que je suis médium. On peut vivre sa vie et passer à côté de l'essentiel, par peur, jusqu'à sa mort. La vie est faite pour être expérimentée, pour évoluer. La peur fige. Et par peur, on peut s'empêcher de vivre ses rêves, de se réaliser et d'apporter sa pierre à l'édifice. Ce qui m’apporte le plus de joie aujourd’hui, c’est de vivre tout simplement de ma passion et de ma vocation pour impacter le monde et aider les autres à prendre conscience d'à quel point, ils sont les créateurs de leur vie et bien plus.”

www.instagram.com/spirit_every_day_by_annerf/
podcasts.apple.com/fr/podcast/spirit-every-day/id1544529576

Laurence

Corteggiani,

Fondatrice, Atelier ikiwa

“J’ai travaillé pendant 20 ans comme directrice marketing et communication au sein de grands groupes du luxe, retail et tourisme en France et à l'étranger. Mon quotidien était devenu très éloigné de ce que j'aime faire et je réfléchissais à une autre voie professionnelle. Une discussion avec Zeva m’a fait prendre conscience que ce que je cherchais à devenir n’était pas quelqu’un d’autre. Je n’avais pas besoin de me réinventer, mais de redevenir moi, en phase avec mes aspirations et mes centres d’intérêts. La voie professionnelle qui était la mienne depuis plus de 20 ans était la bonne, il fallait juste l’exprimer différemment. J’ai donc décidé de créer Atelier ikiwa, une agence de conseil marketing & communication spécialisée dans l’artisanat. J’aide les marques issues de l’artisanat ou travaillant avec des artisans à structurer leur identité et développer leur notoriété. L’agence fonctionne aussi comme un écosystème pour faire connaître et valoriser en France l’artisanat et les artisans d’Asie. Ce qui m’apporte le plus de joie aujourd’hui c'est de créer une histoire, un concept, un visuel, une stratégie pour une marque dont je partage les valeurs, et voir l’étincelle d’excitation dans l’œil de la personne que j’accompagne sur le projet.”

www.atelierikiwa.com
www.instagram.com/atelier_ikiwa

Delphine Tordjman Lipszyc

Accompagnement au développement de projets à impact positif et Fondatrice de Momup

“J'étais directrice générale d'un Lab dans une agence Américaine leader de l'Entertainment. D'être poussé en permanence à la performance et à la compétition pour délivrer n'avait plus de sens. Je n'éprouvais plus ni joie, ni plaisir, alors que j'avais toujours été passionné par mon travail. J'ai voulu une activité plus centrée sur l'humain et sur mes valeurs : le partage, la générosité, la convivialité, l'ouverture sur le monde. Il m'a fallu du temps, un long voyage au bout du monde avant de me lancer dans l'entreprenariat. Aujourd’hui j’ai plusieurs casquettes. Je suis consultante, je collabore avec des entrepreneurs et des organisations pour co-créer des projets à impact positif. J'ai également fondé Momup pour offrir en tant que thérapeute, des services de soins holistiques aux familles (yoga, méditation, séance de relaxation sonore, retraite dans la nature...). J'interviens aussi auprès des entreprises sur ces sujets. Ce qui m’a beaucoup aidé sur mon chemin est d’apprendre à ralentir et dire "non" aux opportunités professionnelles prestigieuses qui n'étaient plus justes pour moi. Je dois beaucoup au yoga et à la méditation pour cela, c'est aussi la raison qui fait que je les enseigne. Ce qui m’apporte le plus de joie aujourd’hui est de voir les gens heureux quand ils sortent d'une expérience Momup ou d'une de mes interventions en entreprise. Les entendre me dire qu'ils se sentent vivants, apaisés, qu'ils ont mieux dormi, les voir rire avec leurs enfants. Et pour la partie conseil et création de projets, avoir des échanges riches, coopérer, découvrir de nouvelles formes de gouvernances pour créer un impact positif social ou environnemental.”
www.momup.fr
www.instagram.com/momupyoga 

Nathalie Fraser

Ecrivaine et coach d'indoor cycling

“Quand j'ai commencé mon travail avec Zeva, j'étais rédactrice en chef de deux magazines de mode. Je sentais depuis un moment que le cœur n'y était plus, mais j'avais du mal à prendre une décision concrète et soudain tout s'est mis en place! Aujourd'hui, si je continue à travailler dans ce milieu en tant que freelance, je suis également coach d'indoor cycling, et je travaille sur plusieurs projets d'écriture. Sur mon chemin je me suis rendu compte que j'étais capable d'oser: oser dire que j'arrêtais, oser tenter ma chance dans un univers qui n'était pas le mien. Donner des cours d'indoor cycling m'apporte une joie et une fierté incroyables: le fait de transmettre ce que j'aime aux autres, de leur faire découvrir mon univers, de leur montrer que si moi je suis capable de dépasser les idées reçues, alors ils le peuvent aussi. C'est d'autant plus frustrant en ce moment avec la fermeture des salles – mais si je trouvais un éditeur pour mon roman, je pourrais oublier ce contretemps.”

www.instagram.com/nathaliefraser/

Agathe Magné

Fondatrice, Take It Slow

“Hier, je m’occupais de diffuser les campagnes publicitaires de grandes corporations principalement sur le digital. J’ai décidé de changer de vie professionnelle pour retrouver mon plein potentiel en m’alignant avec mes valeurs profondes. Aujourd’hui j'accompagne les femmes entrepreneures qui peinent à parler de leur activité. Je les aide à mettre des mots sur leurs pensées et de l’ordre dans leurs idées, à explorer les fondations de leur projet et élaborer une communication qui leur ressemble. J’ai pris conscience que j’avais toutes les ressources en moi pour vivre en harmonie avec moi-même et les autres et ça m’a donné la confiance de me réinventer professionnellement. Ce que j’aime le plus dans mon travail est la liberté de construire un projet qui me ressemble et qui a pour vocation d’aider ceux portés par les mêmes valeurs à rayonner dans leur communication.”

www.instagram.com/__take__it__slow__/

Marine Cossé

Co-Fondatrice, Matriochka

“Avant de rencontrer Zeva, je sortais d'une carrière dans l'édition, où j'avais été éditrice salariée dans de grosses maisons puis avais monté ma propre maison avant de la revendre. J'ai décidé de changer de vie pro parce que je ne me reconnaissais plus dans les valeurs de mon domaine d'activité; j'avais envie d'être alignée à 1000% avec les valeurs de mon job, de m'investir dans un projet qui me fasse vibrer. Ce qui m’a aidé pour avancer sur mon chemin était d’arrêter de chercher trop loin ou trop compliqué: les opportunités étaient déjà là, en face de moi, et que j'avais juste à les saisir. En 2020, j'ai cofondé une startup d'accompagnement parental qui s'appelle Matriochka. Pour l'instant nous proposons des ateliers parentalité, sport et enfants en visio, mais le but est à terme de s'implanter physiquement dans le 15e, avec un café, un espace d'éveil pour les petits, et une salle d'activités. Ce que j’adore le plus dans mon activité aujourd'hui est d’apprendre tous les jours de nouvelles compétences, me sentir utile, travailler avec une de mes meilleures amies, rencontrer des gens passionnants, découvrir de nouveaux horizons; le tout dans le cadre de valeurs auxquelles je m'identifie complètement.”
www.matriochkaparis.fr
www.instagram.com/matriochkaparis/

Sylvie Chayette

Professeur de yoga et meditation

“J'ai été journaliste pendant 20 ans mais à un moment très compliqué de ma vie personnelle, j’ai été victime de harcèlement professionnel. Au-delà de ma douleur personnelle, j'ai été frappée par le manque d'empathie et la cruauté du cadre professionnel. Au même moment, j'ai emmené un proche, très dépressif, à un cours de yoga kundalini. La révélation a plutôt eu lieu pour moi ! J'ai suivi une formation d'enseignant, puis je me suis spécialisée pour enseigner ce yoga transformateur aux seniors et plus largement à tous ceux qui ressentent des limites physiques pour tenir 1h30 en tailleur sur un tapis – et ils sont nombreux. Je me suis également formée à un protocole fantastique de méditation destiné aux seniors, intitulé MBCAS. En méditation, je suis les enseignements hors normes d'un Anglais bouddhiste, Martin Aylward. Un véritable philosophe des temps modernes. Aujourd'hui, je transmets ces enseignements de méditation bouddhiste pour le studio Bloom, au cœur d'un training de 100 heures. Je devrais également rejoindre une plateforme en ligne pour pouvoir donner des cours de yoga en distanciel.”

www.instagram.com/sylvie_chayette/

Clémence Lejeune

Fondatrice, Sacrées Femmes

“Je travaille sur la création d'un espace de santé innovant et bienveillant dédié aux femmes. Avant de commencer mon coaching avec Zéva, j'avais pris la décision de quitter le monde de l'entreprise et mon poste de manager dans le secteur du e-commerce mais je n'arrivais pas à me lancer concrètement sur mon projet. Paralyser par la peur d'échouer et le regard des autres, je n'arrivais pas à sortir de cette phase de transition. Mais ce qui me permet d'avancer sur mon chemin aujourd'hui est le sentiment d'être alignée avec moi-même et avec ma mission de vie. Mettre mon énergie, mes compétences, mon temps au service de l'amélioration de la condition des femmes, est une cause qui me prend au tripes. Cela prendra le temps qu'il faudra mais mon instinct me guide vers l'accomplissement de cette mission. Plus que de la joie cela me procure apaisement et sérénité.”

www.instagram.com/sacrees__femmes/

How do vision boards work?

Have you ever stood in front of a painting and started to weep? Or listened to a concerto and felt shivers run down your spine? 

Images (and music!) carry instant, powerful, emotional messages that bypass logic and reasoning. They move so fast that our minds can’t keep up. 

“Images track instantly to your brain’s visual centres, bypassing conscious thought, which means the brain’s filtering system can’t edit them out or dismiss them,” explains neuroscientist Tara Swart in her amazing book, The Source. 

At this time in the year when we’re making resolutions, setting intentions and goals, we typically spend a lot of time in our thoughts, telling ourselves what’s wrong or missing or in need of improvement with ourselves and our lives. It’s just the way that our brains work (negativity bias—ugh!). 

Entering a heads-on battle with our thoughts, especially when we’re trying to decide where we want to focus our creativity and energy for the upcoming year, can be exhausting and futile. 

Our brains will tell us the answer is to take on more, be more disciplined, control the outcome. But they rarely show us how we want to feel about ourselves and the world we inhabit in our journey forward. 

That’s where images, and more specifically vision boards, can come into play in a really interesting way. 

What’s a vision board?

A vision board is like a mood board, but for your life. It’s an assemblage of cut-out images that speak to you on some deeper level by tapping into your hidden dreams, aspirations and goals. 

What’s the purpose of a vision board?

Vision boards help you sidestep the whole mental goal-setting showdown by using visual metaphors that speak the language of your heart rather than the logic of your mind. Because images can circle around your policing mind, they make for amazing tools when deciding what you deeply desire at critical junctures in your life. Like when you’re shifting careers. Ending a long relationship. Moving countries. Saying goodbye to a familiar way of living (aka 2020). Or welcoming in another trip around the sun (aka 2021)! 

How do vision boards work?

Your vision board is like a dressing room for your future. You try on the "future you" outfit, let your brain get comfortable with it so it green lights the vision, allotting energy and resources towards bringing it to life. This is the law of attraction at work. You’re putting a highlighter around your deeper goals so that your conscious and unconscious minds can team up to help you achieve them. The vision board acts like an intermediary between your heart and your mind—kind of like a couples' therapist for your dreams. 

How can I make a vision board?

I’m so happy you asked,! I’ve got a couple of ideas for you: 

1. You can go back to the free Guide to Great Goal Setting I have on my site and follow the instructions. 

2. If you speak French and want to have a collaborative, energy-lifting experience, I’d be thrilled to see you on January 24th with my dear friend, author and kundalini yoga teacher, Lili Barbery-Coulon for our Atelier Kunda & Creative Flow for 2021. During the two-and-a-half hour webinar Lili will lead us in a communal mediation to help us tap into our intuitive, creative cores before creating our vision boards. To sign up click the link here.

PS. Vision boards help sidestep the whole mental showdown going on in your brain, making them amazing tools for 2021 intention-setting! If you speak French and want to have a collaborative, energy-lifting vision board experience, come join me on January 24th with my dear friend, author and kundalini yoga teacher, Lili Barbery-Coulon for our Atelier Kunda & Creative Flow for 2021 webinar. Lili will be leading us in a mediation to tap into our intuitive, creative flow before creating our vision boards. To sign up click the link here.

5 must-listen podcast interviews that rocked my 2020

In 2020, the world came to me through the podcast portal. I was already a podcast fan, but starting in March during the first lockdown in France I slowly and steadily began racking up the "edutainment" to a solid 100/hrs per month. 

When I look through my archive of listened-to shows, I fly back in time to the exact moment my brain shifted a belief, gave me a new perspective on the future, or shined a mega-light on a part of reality I was trying to avoid.  

I don't know if that happens with everyone (maybe it happens with you, but there's just something about listening to podcasts that stamps ideas into my mind. 

So in honor of this wild year of discoveries and learnings, here is my list of the five most thought-shaping podcast interviews of the year (including a self-promo plug). 

April 20, 2020: "The Daily" The Next Year (or Two) of the Pandemic 

Michael Barbaro of the "The Daily" podcast was my "most-listened-to" person of the year. I just love this guy. He has this way of paraphrasing his guests' answers, offering their words back to them in concise little packages, that reminds me a lot of coaching. He's got a fantastic ear for detail that he uses to help his listeners grasp complex concepts by breaking them down into digestible bites, even when he's interviewing experts about some hard-to-swallow subjects, like basically everything he reported on this year! Of all of the episodes Barbaro did in 2020, my "favorite," was with the science and health reporter for The New York Times, Donald G. McNeil Jr. Back in April, McNeil gave a pretty bleak, but ultimately realistic portrait of our lives with Covid-19 for the next couple of years and introduced the concept of the "hammer and the dance." When I heard the episode, I was like, "Ok, this thing isn't going away for a while and we're going to have to learn to live with it."

June 30, 2020: "Unlocking Us" Brené Brown with Ibram X. Kendi on How to Be an Antiracist

Brené Brown's warm Texan drawl and one-of-a-kind laugh are hard to resist, but it's the way she questions her guests through the prism of her extensive research on shame, courage and vulnerability that makes her podcast "On Becoming" my go-to destination for knee-slapping HOLY SHIT conversations. Of all of the fantastic episodes she did last year, the most memorable and transformative for me was her interview with professor Ibram X. Kendi, the New York Times bestselling author of How to Be an Antiracist. After listening to their conversation in which Brown applied her shame lens to Kendi's teaching, I had a dozen uncomfortable aha-moments which led me to order his book and devour it over the next few weeks. Honestly, this conversation is gold. 

September 14, 2020: "The Happiness Lab" Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: Aristotle

"The Happiness Lab" is a fantastic podcast hosted by Yale professor Dr Laurie Santos, creator of the most successful course in the school's history: The Science of Well-Being. In this show she invites experts from different fields to debunk common myths about what makes us happy and offer alternative ways to achieving that esteemed state. This episode totally blew my mind because she invited her friend and colleague, Yale professor Tamar Gendler, an expert on Ancient Greece, to talk about Aristotle's amazing, and totally relevant well-being concepts from two thousand years ago. She opens with this kick-ass statement: "The idea that the most interesting answer to the question you're trying to ask would be given by someone living on earth with you right now is a real mistake. Sometimes the most interesting answer is something that someone gave two thousand years ago, or on a completely different continent, or in a completely different context." 

November 18, 2020: The Stories that Empower Us: A Conversation with Tara Brach and Elizabeth Lesser, Author of “Cassandra Speaks”

Tara Brach is a mentor to me even though she doesn't know it. Her book Radical Acceptance completely changed the way that I think about uncomfortable emotions and our resistance to them. I recommend her book to literally every person I coach and listen to her podcast, which is mostly live talks and meditations, regularly. That's why it was such a treat to hear her switch things up and interview one of her peers, co-founder of the Omega institute and author, Elizabeth Lesser. The conversation between these two brilliant women was so playful and insightful and you could tell they each adore one another. The two discussed Lesser's new book called Cassandra Speaks, which looks into how myths and popular stories have shaped the way we perceive women, even though they've mostly been written by men! Lesser advocates for women to redefine those roles and perceptions by writing and sharing their stories more. After listening to this episode, I immediately ordered her book and then decided to begin a series of interviews on Instagram with my clients so that they can share their transformation journeys, projects and epiphanies with others.


December 23, 2020: "The New Paris Podcast" On changes and transformations with Zeva Bellel

What an honor to wrap up a year of intense podcast listening by being featured on one of my absolutely favorite shows: "The New Paris Podcast" by Lindsey Tramuta. Lindsey and I met years ago when I was blogging about hidden Parisian addresses and she was just starting out as a travel and culture writer in Paris. She now has two fantastic books about Paris under her belt, The New Paris and The New Parisienne: The Women & Ideas Shaping Paris, as well as a brilliant podcast with an eclectic line-up of Paris-based guests. I was delighted to be invited onto her show to discuss my own journey coming to Paris, the chaotic early days of my career in France, the twists and turns that lead me to coaching, and French and American cultural differences in regards to career transformation.

If you have any podcast episodes that completely rocked your world in 2020 send me the links.

Sending you lots of love.

xxx
Zeva


PS.When you have a good 40-minutes free, I'd love for you to check in and listen to my conversation with Lindsey Tramuta on her podcast"The New Paris"and let me know what comes up for you.

PPS. Thanks for being on the other side of this screen this year. I'll see you next week with an announcement about a fun vision board workshop I'm co-hosting in January. Until then, have a fantastic holiday!

Desperately seeking validation

Last week I bought myself one of those Sesame Street, muppet-like sweaters from Unliqlo that looks and feels like a fuzzy stuffed animal. 

And it was a good thing I bought that warm comfort mop. All weekend I used it to soak up my tears after getting passed over for a prestigious part-time mentor position that I really thought I'd be perfect at. 

My face buried in Snuffleupagus’s arms, I thought a lot about why this rejection stung so much. 

It wasn't because I didn’t get the job, it’s because I didn’t get the validation I was secretly seeking.

To my insecure mind, being chosen for the role would have been proof of my value. Proof that I could play with the big kids. Proof that I was stepping up my game. 


I essentially handed my agency and sense of self-worth over to the recruiters, and after examining me, they decided there were better fish to fry. 

My friend Ajiri coached me with this honesty bomb: “Zeva, you don’t need their validation, even though you feel like you do.”

Working for yourself has a million merits, but one thing it doesn’t have is a solid self-validation system. 

It’s hard to give yourself objective praise. We’re not really taught how to do that. What we are taught is how to seek validation outside of ourselves through degrees, promotions, prestigious titles and projects.

So, since I didn’t get the position, I decided to take a scalpel to the experience in search of some self-empowering lessons:

Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• Every time I decide to pursue, or am invited to participate in a project, I'm going to be really freaking honest with myself about WHY I want it. How much of it is a need for external validation? How much of it is because I really want to spend my time and energy and focus on that pursuit? If I didn’t feel the need for validation, would I still want to do that project?

• What in me needs nurturing in order to feel more self-validation? What struggles, doubts, insecurities and fears need some sweet love and attention?

• What would I allow myself to do or create if I had all of the self-validation I ever needed already within me?

As we approach the end to this crazy year and think about what’s on the horizon, the goals and pursuits we’d like to work towards, I invite you to join me in exploring these questions. 

What would it be like to have a year where you stopped chasing external validation and instead sought ways to create a deeper relationship with your internal compass, your own self-satisfaction and creative stimulation?


What would a year like that look like?


PS. I don't have all of the details yet but mark your calendars for a special 2021 Road Mapping Vision Board workshop that I'm doing on January 12th with a pretty phenomenal co-host. More info in my next newsletter, so stay tuned. 

Mission: Find the Facettes

Since I was a little girl I wondered what my mission was. I moved from one opportunity to another without having a guiding direction. The only direction I had was to get me to Paris. But beyond that I didn't know what else I was supposed to do. 

I remember reading What Color is Your Parachute, doing all of the exercises and still coming up blank. 

I knew I liked art but didn't feel I was an artist. I wanted to help artists. I wanted to show off and expose their work more. But did that make me a gallerist? An art dealer? 

I explored those tracks a bit but I wasn't passionate or connected enough within the art world and didn't like the feeling of the auction houses, the galleries. It just wasn't for me.


But I did like reading and writing though about creative people. I started working as a journalist interviewing artists and designers and creators and eventually started a blog highlighting the work of hidden Parisian artisans. 

I got so much satisfaction out of digging around exploring the city, discovering a little showroom, knocking on the door, speaking with and learning about the particular gifts that someone had, and then weaving all of my discoveries into a story that honored their craft and gave them a platform for shining and spreading their light even wider. 

When I think back now, I was already on my path toward becoming a coach. And the mission I have today is like an older cousin of the mission I had back then.

In my work as a coach, the crowing jewel is the moment that the facettes of the inner diamond inside of my client start to sparkle. 

I feel sometimes like a archeologist who is digging around, extracting and removing the earth that's collected around a mysterious and enigmatic treasure. 

The treasure has always been buried in the earth, but the layers of soot accumulated over milions of years has stifled its shine.


My mission, my ultimate mission as a coach, is to help my clients feel and find those facettes inside of them so that they can then dust them off, cherish them, polish them and start letting them shine even brighter and wider with the world. 

I am grateful for you. I’m grateful for your facettes, whether they’re shining loud and bright right now or not, they’re in you and part of you and I appreciate them. 


PS. Part of my mission, once we've found my client's facettes is to work on making them stronger, brighter, more resilient and impactful. Which is why I want to introduce a new concept I have: interviewing my clients so that they can share their facettes, their innovations and their stories with you. So please join me for my first interview this upcoming Wednesday, December 2, 2020 at 12h30 CET on Instagram for a Q&A conversation in French with my client Christelle Tissot Grosset who just launched a new media platform, Müsae.

Unmasking and overcoming imposter syndrome

I’ve got a serious-as-all-hell bone to pick. And it’s not about the man currently in the White House whose name makes my blood boil. 

I’m talking about another mother of all evil: Imposter syndrome. 

When I sense its presence I literally want to stand up, scream at the top of my lungs, and start throwing the contents of my bookshelf on the ground like a lunatic. 

Why? Because its presence hisses through the words of my clients telling me why they don’t have what it takes to go after what they want.

That whatever proof exists that they DO have what it takes— like experience, skills, passion, intuition, desire, creativity, energy, praise,, determination—NEVER add up to enough. 

It’s a classic battle of reality vs fantasy (which is a theme very much on trend considering the biggest imposter on the planet is currently using fantasy to lock in his power). 

Why does reality have such a hard time winning against fantasy? 

Why do women feel like imposters when there’s ample evidence they’re extremely (if not overly) qualified to level up, go after and defend what they care about?

You know that imposter syndrome is speaking when you hear sentences like:

“I won’t  be taken seriously.”

“My argument is going to fall apart .”

“I don’t have the vocabulary to be convincing.”

“There are so many things I don’t know well enough, they’re going to find out I’m a fraud.”

“I’m not credible enough.”

Those thoughts lack proof and wouldn’t necessarily hold up when put to the test. 

• How do you know you won’t be taken seriously?

• How do you know your argument is going to fall apart?

• How do you know you’re going to lose confidence and start scrambling?

• How do you know there are more eloquent speakers on that subject?

• How do you know you lack the vocabulary to be convincing?

Take your beliefs to trial and see what evidence there is to back them up. 

If some of them hold up, ok, that's cool, now what? 

• What do you need to build up your vocabulary, learn some technical jargon, feel more confidence about the subject you’re defending?

• Do you need to research the subject?

• Ask a specialist for their input?

• Practice getting your talking points in order?

In my opinion imposter syndrome is two forces working at once:

1. Strength devaluation. Because our strengths flow so naturally and show up with little effort, we have a tendency (especially as women) to undervalue our inherent skills and strengths. We take them for granted and think that everyone is just like us. 

2. Lack amplification. Because of our historic and cultural underrepresentation in leadership roles we believe that we don’t belong and won’t be taken seriously unless we know everything, have every skill, master every friggin possible situation and scenario. 

I feel like the antidote to imposter syndrome is to flesh out each bucket and get as granular and evidence-curious as you can.

• What are your “empirically proven” strengths? (If you don’t know, ask around!)

• How can you amplify them?

• What knowledge or skills are you missing that you know will really help you move the needle? 

• How can you cultivate them, delegate them, practice them?

• And what’s the next bravest move you can take to get the ball rolling?

Let me know how this message lands for you. 

More than ever I’m on a mission to make sure that women never bulk under the weight of unverified beliefs that keep them from their purpose and power. We just can’t afford that. Not today, not tomorrow. 

PS. I’m going to be doing an Instagram live on December 3rd 2020 at 12h30 CET with one of my clients, Christelle Tissot Grosset, founder of the new media platform Müsae. We’ll be talking about her journey unmasking and overcoming her imposter experience to move forward with her exciting new media project. Follow me over on Instagram to listen in.

Don't be afraid to catch feels

I'm feeling a lot of "feels" as I'm sure you are too right now.

Disbelief, anger, fear, disgust, grief, hope, enthusiasm, excitement.

Those emotions were all of the menu in 2020, but this week's painful, protracted American election has been serving me feels in XXXL containers.

I've flopped so quickly and deeply from one emotion extreme to the other that I've started to get very, very acquainted with the sensations my emotions create in my body.

When I think of Trump undermining the election process all of the way to the courts, that feeling of doom and despair comes through my chest like a heavy hollow swoosh. Almost like a blunt sword cutting through to my belly.

When I think of Biden's face on the cover of the The New York Times with a big "WINNER" next to his name, a joyful, fluttery swarm of green music notes fly across my chest.

Have you ever tried that before,?

Think of something and then feel that "event" emerge as a sensation in your body?

Since I learned I could deliberately think of something and then instantly feel its presence in my body I starting adding that practice to my arsenal of self-discovery tools.

The more you practice observing the invisible network of thoughts, emotions and sensations in your body, the more information you have about the patterns and triggers that set you off in one direction or another.

It's kind of like creating your own personal "Physical Feelings Glossary."

When you take the time to observe what your feelings actually FEEL like, you can assign the sensations you discover names, colors, textures, shapes.

For example, in my "Physical Feelings Glossary" I have the following entries:

• DESPAIR: A yellow hollow sword-like swoosh down my chest when I think of something truly horrific, like the demise of American democracy setting off the next World War.

• FEAR: A red, hockey-sized puck that thumps in my belly when I'm startled by a car alarm or suddenly realize I haven't sent my taxes in.

• HOPE: A fireworks display of fluttery music notes flying across my chest when I think of Biden winning.

• SERENITY: The blue tingling lightness on my skin after a mediation or yoga practice.

I love to do this exercise with my clients so that they too can create their own "Physical Feelings Glossary."

It's especially useful when you feel overwhelmed by the sudden shifts in the world.

Being able to observe those sensations without judgement makes you less reactive and more proactive.

For example, instead of immediately reacting to the feeling of fear in your belly, you can look to understand the cause of the fear. The thoughts or circumstances that are creating that feeling.

We're going to have a lot of intense feelings come up over the next few days and possible weeks, so as a "fun" exercise I invite you to try and locate those feelings in your body, give them a name, a color, a shape.

Below is a picture of mine.

It could be a fun (and useful) distraction to the addictive drama of the USA election.


PS. If you decide to create your own "Physical Sensations Glossary" and draw it or paint it or whatever, be sure to send me a picture at zeva@zevabellel.com !! I'd love to see what you come up with.

PPS. Unpacking the way thoughts, emotions and feelings shape our reactions and actions is a huge part of the coaching process. Want to know more about it? I've got some spots opening up for individual coaching so book a call if you're interested.

The hidden cost of under-valuing creativity

When I was a trend reporter the rule was "one is chance, two is coincidence and three is a trend." 

And right now I have three different clients connected in a strikingly, trend-specific way.

Their common connection? As kids, they were discouraged from nurturing their creative sensibilities because their families were scared about what would happen if they decided to pursue those paths professionally.

It sounds counter-intuitive, right? You've got a kid who devours four books a week, a kid who's exceptionally gifted at music, a kid who has a passion for collecting and transforming objects, but instead of feeling excited as a parent, you feel dread.

You see when you come from a family where science, math, law, etc are the gold standards, where they're held high above anything else, it's hard as a parent to get behind the idea of developing your child's creative side. 

The discouragements, for the most part, come from fear.  "What if she become an artist? How will she support herself? Ahh, scary, no!"

But let's play a game of "Fast Forward A Few Decades," shall we? 

Your kid has the degrees, the fancy title, the safe job, but then she starts to feel completely and totally out of whack and wonder "How did I get here?" "Who was calling the shots?" "Why did I decide to climb this ladder?" 

What's the most obvious risk of being discouraged from nurturing your creative sensibilities most of your life?

The number one I've seen is the deep sadness in silencing that special spark inside of you that's the source of so much joy. That deep rift creates a hole in the heart that looks to be filled elsewhere. 

Which can lead to some other consequences I've discovered when people search for value in ways unrelated to what flows naturally:

• They lose their confidence in themselves and their ability to trust their intuition because they believe that their natural talents are worthless (literally worth-less) than other pursuits that were (and continue to be) much harder for them to excel at.
   

• They latch on to a system of reward and recognition that's outside of themselves, detached from their inner compass and emotional foundation. That system's usually about extreme effort and external signs of value that can easily lead to over-exertion, emotional exhaustion and a feeling of complete misalignment. 
   

• They forget that they already know what they like, what they're good at, what comes naturally to them, and that there are untapped possibilities for them within those worlds.

So what happens next? How do we unravel that onion and find our way back to the creative joy?

The number one stop is identifying the thoughts in your head that are telling you you're not doing it right. That you're not disciplined enough. Responsible enough. Hard-working enough. That's a telltale sign there's something stinky going on under the surface that's creating the misalignment.

Because when you peel the onion back you're bound to find that when it comes to doing the things that flow naturally, that give you pleasure, that you're innately good at, the responsibility, discipline, and effort aren't an issue. 

Do you ever feel irresponsible, undisciplined, not-good-enough?

What are you doing, or not-doing, when you say that about yourself?

When did those thoughts first appear in your mind?

And on the flip-side, what do you do naturally and without struggle without any voices telling you you're not doing it right?

Book a call and we can discuss! 

Much love to you today.

Zeva