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Client Profile: Emilie Ghidalia goes from bookkeeper to biographer

“Have your clients really been able to shift gears and do something totally different with their lives?

I frequently get asked this question during my discovery calls with potential clients and I absolutely love it because it oozes with equal parts fear, excitement and envy.

Oh, sweetie,” I think to myself, “Where do I begin?”

Should I talk about the fashion editor who became a fitness instructor?

The global talent agency exec who became a wellness entrepreneur?

The marketing director who launched a sustainable retail communications agency?

The urban architect who became a weaver?

Or the civil servant who became a psychic healer?

Not all of my clients go all Lightning McQueen on me, slamming the brakes on their current career to twist the wheel in a completely different direction.

But many of them do. And just for the record when they do veer it’s always a gradual transformation, never like waking up in the skin one morning of a completely different person.

There’s something about those transformation stories that’s miraculous and mesmerizing. Which is why I want to share the story of Emilie Ghidalia.

Emilie came into my office several years ago excited to start coaching but up front with me about her doubts. Deep down she was convinced that she was doomed to continue working as an accountant because she had no ideas about anything else she could do. Period. Nothing up there. No creativity. She was a worrier, a planner, not a dreamer.

In the rare moments when a baby idea did pop into her brain, a little pesky voice would snap to attention and leap 75 steps into the future. Telling her all of the reasons why her idea was disastrous, dangerous, risky. (She later named the voice N75, and drew him as a miniature concierge in a three-piece-suit and bow-tie).

During our process examining and loosening the grip on those limiting beliefs and her relationship with N75, Emile waltzed into my office one day and announced that she had an idea and she knew it was the right one.

She wanted to become a family biographer.

She has always loved to write, was fascinated by people’s stories and felt that everyone had the right to have their story told.

So, in honor of sharing stories, please click over to read this special interview with Emilie (en français) about her fascinating professional shift and her faithful (but less troublesome) side-kick N75.

“Have your clients really been able to shift gears and do something totally different with their lives? 

I frequently get asked this question during my discovery calls with potential clients and I absolutely love it because it oozes with equal parts fear, excitement and envy. 

Oh, sweetie,” I think to myself, “Where do I begin?”

Should I talk about the fashion editor who became a fitness instructor? 

The global talent agency exec who became a wellness entrepreneur?

The marketing director who launched a sustainable retail communications agency?

The urban architect who became a weaver?

Or the civil servant who became a psychic healer?

Not all of my clients go all Lightning McQueen on me, slamming the brakes on their current career to twist the wheel in a completely different direction. 

But many of them do. And just for the record when they do veer it’s always a gradual transformation, never like waking up in the skin one morning of a completely different person.

There’s something about those transformation stories that’s miraculous and mesmerizing. Which is why I want to share the story of Emilie Ghidalia. 

Emilie came into my office several years ago excited to start coaching but was up front with me about her doubts. Deep down she was convinced that she was doomed to continue working as an accountant because she had no ideas about anything else she could do. Period. Nothing up there. No creativity. She was a worrier, a planner, not a dreamer.

In the rare moments when a baby idea did pop into her brain, a little pesky voice would snap to attention and leap 72 steps into the future. Telling her all of the reasons why her idea was disastrous, dangerous, risky. (She later named the voice N72, and drew him as a miniature concierge in a three-piece-suit and bow-tie). 

During our process examining and loosening the grip on those limiting beliefs and her relationship with N72, Emile waltzed into my office one day and announced that she had an idea and she knew it was the right one. 

She wanted to become a family biographer.

She has always loved to write, was fascinated by people’s stories and felt that everyone had the right to have their story told. 

So, in honor of sharing stories, please read this special interview with Emilie (en français) about her fascinating professional shift and her faithful (but less troublesome) side-kick N72.  

Interview with Emilie Ghidalia

photo portugal.jpg


Qu’est ce que tu fais comme métier et depuis combien de temps?

Aujourd’hui j’exerce deux professions. Mon « ancien » métier, Responsable Administratif et Financier dans une PME, mais que j’ai pimpé et mon nouveau métier. Je continue d’exercer cette profession, car actuellement c’est ce qui me permet de payer mon loyer, mais en free lance (vive la liberté !). En parallèle, depuis un peu plus d’un an, j’exerce le métier de biographe familiale. J’espère pouvoir basculer à temps plein vers ce travail d’écriture mais, pour le moment, cette double casquette me convient assez bien.

C’est quoi exactement une biographe familiale? 

Mon travail de biographe familiale consiste à recueillir la parole d’inconnus qui souhaitent laisser une trace de leur histoire. Pour eux-même. Pour leur famille. Parfois pour le public. Ensemble, nous co-écrivons l’histoire de leur vie.

C'est un virage assez radical de ton activité avant de commencer ton coaching? Quelles étapes clés t’ont amené vers ta nouvelle activité?

Le coaching tout entier a été l’étape clé ! Plus précisément, dans le coaching, ce qui m’a « débloquée » a été d’apprendre à croire qu’il y avait une solution (je pensais sincèrement que j’étais un cas désespéré, qu'il fallait que je me résigne à passer ma vie à exercer un métier qui ne me convenait plus) en laissant (autant que faire se peut) mes angoisses de côté, définir clairement les contours de mon métier « rêvé » en le dissociant de mon métier "fantasmé"  et comprendre qu’elles étaient mes compétences. J’avais une image différente de ce que je valais et de ce dont j’étais capable. 

Avant de commencer ton coaching est ce que tu connaissais déjà le métier du biographe? 

Je me suis rappelée après coup en avoir vaguement entendu parlé lors d’un micro reportage au JT, des années auparavant. L’info avait du rester dans un coin de ma tête.

Concrètement, comment cela se passes-t-il un projet de biographie? Quel est une journée type?

Le matin de préférence, je suis en entretien avec mes clients.tes. Les entretiens durent environ une heure, durant laquelle ils.elles me racontent un épisode de leur vie. Nous ajustons le texte au fur et à mesure aussi ce temps en face à face est complètement dédié à la parole.  Il est, je trouve, essentiel pour créer le lien avec celui.celle qui se confie. Ces moments sont toujours très intimes et touchants. On rit souvent et, à chaque fois, on peut sentir l’émotion du souvenir.  Ensuite, de retour chez moi, je mets en mots l’histoire que l’on vient de me confier. J’essaie d’être la plus fidèle possible au ton du narrateur, à son vocabulaire, à l’intention qu’il.elle met dans ce projet. Et j'ajoute ma patte. Quand le texte est, à mon sens, fini et avant la séance suivante, je l’envoie à mon.ma client.e afin qu’il soit relu et qu’on puisse y apporter les modifications nécessaires.

Si quelqu'un souhaite travailler avec toi sur son projet de biographie c’est quoi le budget et la durée ?

Le processus est assez simple. Je facture au temps réellement passé, 60 euros de l'heure, que ce soit le temps passé en entretien ou le temps passé en écriture, relecture, recherche, etc. Pour une heure d'entretien, il faut compter environ 2 à 3 heures d'écriture, en fonction de la quantité d'informations transmises pendant l'entretien. Ensuite le nombre d'entretiens varie en fonction de l'histoire à raconter mais je dirais qu'il faut environ une dizaine d'entretiens au total. Concernant la rédaction de contenus pour les marques, bien sûr c'est assez différent. Le tarif horaire est le même mais le volume change fortement. Je suis toujours ravie d'être contactée pour de nouveaux projets !

Qui sont tes clients.tes?

Mes clients.es ont finalement des profils assez différents. Je travaille bien sûr avec des personnes âgées qui veulent laisser une trace de leur histoire pour leurs enfants et leur petits enfants. Parfois, ce sont les enfants que me contactent, désireux de conserver l’histoire de leur parent. Je travaille également avec des personnes plus jeunes qui ont vécu un événement marquant dans leur vie et qui souhaite le poser sur papier. Pour elles-mêmes ou dans l’optique d’une publication. Enfin, je collabore parfois avec des entreprises que j’aide dans la rédaction de contenus relatifs à l’histoire de leur marque ou de leurs créations, pour leurs sites web notamment. 

Comment la vie d’une biographe est différente de ce que tu avais imaginé en commençant ton activité? 

Je pensais travailler exclusivement avec des personnes âgées. J’ai été très surprise d’être souvent contactée par des gens de mon âge. Egalement, j’avais complètement occulté la possibilité de travailler avec des entreprises.

Au début du coaching tu pensais que tu n'étais pas assez créative pour envisager un métier qui te faisait vibrer. Comment cette pensée a évolué depuis?

Je pense toujours manquer de créativité mais je laisse d’avantage de chance à mes idées avant de considérer qu’elles sont toutes nulles. Parfois même, je les trouve plutôt bonnes.

Quels sont tes plus grands objectifs pour la suite?

Mon objectif principal est de basculer à temps plein vers l’écriture, réussir à faire publier le beau projet de roman sur lequel je travaille avec une cliente et puis, peut-être qu’ensuite je me sentirai capable d’écrire pour moi-même.

De quoi as tu besoin pour avancer?

Un peu plus de clients et un peu plus de courage, pour basculer totalement vers le métier d’écriture, je ne sais pas dans quel ordre…

Tu as terminé ton coaching il y a déjà plus d'un ans. Avec du recul et du temps, qu'est ce que tu te retiens le plus maintenant de ton expérience?

Ce coaching a littéralement changé ma vie. Ce que j’en retiens c’est d’oser croire que les choses sont possibles et se faire accompagner lorsqu’on ne trouve pas la solution par soi-même.

Bonus question: comment va N72?

Hahahaha ! N72 va très bien. Maintenant qu’il n’est plus mon ennemi mais un allié dont je connais les défauts et les qualités, nous cohabitons assez bien (la plupart du temps). Finalement, ce coaching a aussi été une vraie thérapie de couple entre mon angoisse et moi-même :)

Pour contacter Emilie pour un projet de biographie visitez son site: https://emilieghidalia.com/

Et pour trouver le métier de votre rêve contacter moi ici:

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Define your timeframe

It was 1999 and I was sitting opposite my therapist, Yael, worrying about what to do with the lease on my 4th-floor walk-up apartment above a Pet Store in Brooklyn.

 

Even though it smelled like fish food and wet dog every time I walked through the building, my apartment was conveniently located and affordable enough for New York. 
 

Should I extend the lease, and risk staying put for another year, or break it and go who knows where?


Beggars can't be choosers, I thought, but every ounce of my body wanted OUT OF THERE— not just the apartment but NYC all together.
 

I had until the end of the month to figure it all out. 

 

Then my therapist Yael dropped one of her golden reality bombs into the room: “Zeva, contracts can be broken and calendars can be adapted. There’s only one situation that has a non-negotiable timeframe—pregnancy!” 

 

BAM! Message received loud and clear.


I walked out of that session with a new lease on life (pun intended).


For the life of me I can’t remember if I extended the lease or not, but once that deadline became a non-issue, my mind lead me to a whole new sea of options (which eventually got me on a plane to Paris).

 

Why am I bringing this up?

It was 1999 and I was sitting opposite my therapist, Yael, worrying about what to do with the lease on my 4th-floor walk-up apartment above a Pet Store in Brooklyn.

 

Even though it smelled like fish food and wet dog every time I walked through the building, my apartment was conveniently located and affordable enough for New York. 
 

Should I extend the lease, and risk staying put for another year, or break it and go who knows where?


Beggars can't be choosers, I thought, but every ounce of my body wanted OUT OF THERE— not just the apartment but NYC all together.
 

I had until the end of the month to figure it all out. 

 

Then my therapist Yael dropped one of her golden reality bombs into the room: “Zeva, contracts can be broken and calendars can be adapted. There’s only one situation that has a non-negotiable timeframe—pregnancy!” 

 

BAM! Message received loud and clear.


I walked out of that session with a new lease on life (pun intended).


For the life of me I can’t remember if I extended the lease or not, but once that deadline became a non-issue, my mind lead me to a whole new sea of options (which eventually got me on a plane to Paris).

 

Why am I bringing this up?

 

Because as the end of the year approaches, we all try to rush to the finish line, jump over hurdles and past milestones to “make it” to the end of the year with all of our goals checked off in a row. 

 

As if deep personal growth can be squeezed out like the last blobs of toothpaste hiding at the bottom of the tube.

 

That’s just not how growth works. You can't force it. You can’t cram it it. You can’t expect that by the stroke of midnight on December 31st everything will suddenly be exactly as you want it to be. 

 

Calendars help us track seasons and collaborate with the rest of the world in an organized fashion. But they are not indicators of where we have to be in our lives. 

 

You don’t have to start a new job on Jan 1st. 

 

You don’t have to quit your job before you go on vacation. 

 

You don’t have to share your vague business ideas with your cousins over your holiday dinner. 

 

You don’t have to know with 100% certainty what your next career move is going to be when, over smoked salmon canapés, uncle Jean asks you what you've been doing with all of your free time since you left your last job. 

 

Think of Yael and my stinky old apartment when you feel the weight of the clock (and your loved ones, bless their well-meaning hearts). 
 

Every timetable is flexible, except one, so release the stress of competing with time, and yourself, and move at your own rhythm. 


You've got this!

Photo by Malvestida Magazine on Unsplash

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Authenticity, Growth, Personal Development Zeva Bellel Authenticity, Growth, Personal Development Zeva Bellel

How to get over self-sabotaging thoughts and feelings? Part 1 of 3.

This is the first in a three-part series about limiting beliefs: how to identify them, uncover their emotional power, and ultimately transform them into thoughts that “spark joy" and help you move forward with meaning. 


Marie Kondo has helped millions of people rid their homes of objects that clutter their lives. 


“My mission is to spark joy in the world through tidying,” she says in the first episode of her Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo before we meet an overwhelmed couple with two young kids and a house busting at the seams.


“The cluttered house seems to be affecting their relationship as well,” says Kondo about Rachel and Kevin, the exhausted homeowners and young couple who are having a seriously hard time liking each other.  


“I would like to help this couple focus on what matters most to them, time with their family,” she continues before helping them bring light and joy back into their home. And, more importantly, back into their couple. 


Where focus goes, the energy flows. 


By asking people to wake up their objects, hold them close and look for a spark of joy in their bodies, Marie Kondo is teaching people how to identify and focus on what's most important. 


She’s also helping people learn a physical and emotional language in order to do so— a new tool to put in their self-development toolbox.


What I love about her concept, dear reader,  is how poetic and simple it is. 


And how it can be applied not only to objects, but also to the beliefs in your head. 



Click over to find out what I mean by that.

This is the first in a three-part series about limiting beliefs: how to identify them, uncover their emotional power, and ultimately transform them into thoughts that “spark joy" and help you move forward with meaning. 


Marie Kondo has helped millions of people rid their homes of objects that clutter their lives. 


“My mission is to spark joy in the world through tidying,” she says in the first episode of her Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo before we meet an overwhelmed couple with two young kids and a house busting at the seams.


“The cluttered house seems to be affecting their relationship as well,” says Kondo about Rachel and Kevin, the exhausted homeowners and young couple who are having a seriously hard time liking each other.  


“I would like to help this couple focus on what matters most to them, time with their family,” she continues before helping them bring light and joy back into their home. And, more importantly, back into their couple. 


Where focus goes, the energy flows. 


By asking people to wake up their objects, hold them close and look for a spark of joy in their bodies, Marie Kondo is teaching people how to identify and focus on what's most important. 


She’s also helping people learn a physical and emotional language in order to do so— a new tool to put in their self-development toolbox.


What I love about her concept, dear reader,  is how poetic and simple it is. 


And how it can be applied not only to objects, but also to the beliefs in your head. 



Here what I mean by that.

Our beliefs play a huge role in our experiences. They are the thoughts that shape our perception of ourselves and the world. 

Some beliefs help us move forward. 

“There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.”

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

“Clarity comes through action.”


Some beliefs keep us back.


”You need to be certain that it will work before you start.”

“Money equals success.”

“You need to lie, cheat and steal to get to the top.”

Beliefs are not facts.  They are thoughts, myths or generalities that we perceive as truths. 


How do these thoughts become “truths?”

  • Because we overhear them growing up. 

  • Because we acquire them socially. 

  • Because we cultivate them to fit it. 

  • Because we nurture them to create a certain life view and identity. 

  • Because we haven’t found a reason or evidence not to believe them.


In coaching, one of the big things we do is work on identifying and tidying up the beliefs in your head. The ones that tend to drag you down, hold you back, distract you from what you really want. 


Like the boxes of junk that you keep tripping over — you don’t have to keep beliefs that are holding you back! 

You have the control to kindly say au revoir to the beliefs that are holding you back. “Thank you for your service, for protecting me and looking out for me, for helping me feel safe, or connected, but you no longer serve me now.”

Change the belief and you can change your emotional reaction to something, and therefore how you feel and respond to any situation. 

So, dear reader I ask you to do the following thing this week as a little Marie Kondo experiment:

Keep a notebook or journal with you for one week and write down any thoughts, or annoying voices that leave a bitter taste in your mouth. That drag you down. Make you feel shitty. Hold you back from being a more joyful you.

Just like that pair of skinny jeans from twenty years ago that you dream of one day fitting into again but that chances are you won’t and that just serve to remind you of how you’re getting older and you’re body isn’t what it once was. Wouldn’t it be lovely to just thank those jeans for their years of service and send them packing?

So for now, when you hear those “skinny jeans” beliefs pop up in your head, write them down. 

And I’ll be back in a couple of weeks to guide you through the next step: how to uncover the emotions that are attached to your beliefs.

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