Cultivating Self-Trust

Camille I were in the middle of our session when she causally said, "When something feels off in my body, I now know that it's because I'm believing something that just isn't true."

We looked at each other and laughed. Because Camille and her body weren’t always humming to the same tune. 

Earlier on in our coaching, her body was like a racehorse designed for efficiency, duty and productivity.

It had the potential to sense and intuit, to switch lanes and directions when it felt the need, but its blinders were so thick and tight that it was on a toxic auto-pilot track headed for imminent burnout. 

I love a good visual metaphor. So what could the blinders represent in this story you think?

What prevents a woman from being able to trust the signals that her body sends her about what feels good or bad?

So many of my clients come to me because they’re trying to get to a place that feels better for them professionally, but they’re terrified by what they might discover in themselves with their blinders off. 

Why? Because they've been taught to believe that those blinders provide control and security. 

Control and security over what? 

Our careers? 

Our social status? 

Our families? 

All of those make sense.

But when you realize that it’s impossible to control anything outside of ourselves 100%, we get to something a bit more complex. 

As women in a patriarcal society, we’ve been brilliantly taught to mistrust what happens inside of us. We’ve been taught to mistrust:
 

• Our emotions. 

• Our resilience.

• Our power.

• Our opinions. 

• Our needs. 

How did we get to a place where we are so distrusting of ourselves? 

How did we get to a place where we’re better at controlling and numbing our needs and desires than becoming curious about what they might be telling us?

And, more importantly, how can we build a bridge into ourselves, into our self trust that doesn’t also freak us out and halt us in our tracks?

That goal, the one above, is what my clients and I strive to achieve in our journey together. 

To get them to a place, like Camille, where they can gradually loosen the blinders, see what they're falsely protecting us from, and learn to listen to and trust the power and potential deep within in order to guide them forward. 

PS.If you want to learn how to build self trust and self knowing so you can feel your way to your next career move, book a call with me here.

The Z Hive Giving Guide

Welcome to the first ever Z Hive Giving Guide!

What's the Z Hive, you ask? It's the community of current and former clients I've had the immense pleasure of coaching. A vast sorority of 100+ women who have transformed their careers in one way or another during our coaching journey together.

There are so many extraordinarily talented women in this community that I've decided to create a holiday guide to highlight some of their unique work, while also helping you, << Test First Name >>, navigate the wild, tumultuous sport of end-of-year gift giving. 

So, without further ado, click over to grab The Z Hive Giving Guide to 2022.

And if you’d like to learn more about my coaching program, which gives you instant access to Z Hive, just book a discovery call here.

One shift sets them free

Anne had a safe and successful career as Head of Strategy and Development at a prestigious not-for-profit. But she was bored and desperate for something more.

At 45-years-old, retirement was far away, but not that far away. What else could she do professionally between now and then that was worth risking it all?

Even though a close friend in the same industry radically shifted tracks after working with me, Anne signed up for coaching despite believing she was a "lost cause." 

Anne was experiencing classic “stuckness”:

• One part fear. 

• One part fuzziness. 

• One part disbelieving.

Does that recipe sound familiar to you,?

Most people believe clarity comes by thinking problems to death. By engineering a perfect, grand master plan before daring to take any action. 

That strategy never works (it just makes you more anxious). 

In my experience coaching hundreds of women, the recipe for getting unstuck isn’t macro, but micro.


First, you need to make a move, even the slightest, seemingly-insignificant one, to prove to yourself that: 

1. You’re capable of keeping promises to yourself. 

2. You’re capable of change.

3. Change isn’t so scary. 

4. You can trust yourself to move at your own pace. 

So what's Anne up to now? 

In our time working together Anne discovered her passion, and skill, for writing people’s stories. She took a short writing program that confirmed what she intuited, that she wanted to become a biographer. She got the endorsement from her beloved manager of 15 years to move ahead with her new career. She researched the best programs, and was accepted into a comprehensive course for biographers that started this Fall. She already has former clients and friends who have commissioned her services. 

And do you know what set the ball in motion? What got her unstuck? It was putting her running gear on before taking the kids to school. 
 

Yup, I'm totally serious. 

One small shift set her in motion. A freedom action. A self-love proclamation. A mini-identify shift. 

This mini-identity shift is part of a transformation process that I witness over and over and over again with my clients. One shift sets them free. 

I’m sharing this unstuck process in a small cohort class. 

Click here to get on the Getting Unstuck and Easing Into Action waitlist. It’s the first unstuck action you can do today.

Celebrating International Women's Day 2021

Illustration by pikisuperstar

I spend most of my days in the presence of exceptional women I never would have met had I not become a coach.


Moments with them are like magic gold nuggets. It’s just the two of us. The focus is sharp. The exploration is deep. The energy is crispy, but warm.


Each session opens the trust vault just that much wider to identify and define deep aspirations and desires that haven’t been expressed before.


I often feel like cracking open the walls of the room (or the screen of the computer) so that the entire world can appreciate the gem of a person I have growing in front of me.

So, in honor of March 8th, International Women’s Day, I’m going to do just that—break open the screen so that my everyday heroes, my creative muses and inspiration can share their visions, their struggles and their brave transformation stories with you.


These are women who have completely revamped their professional identities in the time I’ve known them, shedding the safety and recognition of classic careers for deeply personal missions, leading many of them down the entrepreneurial path. Even though their journeys have (and continue to be) full of fear and doubt, their intuition tells them to persist. They are brave and inspiring and knowing them has made me not only a better coach, but a better person.


So without further ado, please say hello to the eight exceptional women I’ve chosen to honor on this International Women’s Day for 2021.

---

Anne Razafy

Fondatrice, Spirit Every Day

 “J'étais chargée de mission dans le contrôle de gestion dans une grande boîte française quand j’ai commencé mon coaching. Je ne pouvais plus me voir passer à côté d'une partie de ma vie, de ma vocation. Mon coeur m'enjoignais à transformer ma vie professionnelle mais ma tête, c'était une toute autre histoire. J’ai finalement décidé de quitter mon CDI pour créer une activité en accord avec ma vocation : guider, accompagner, et coacher en alliant spiritualité, mindset (pensée créatrice) et bientôt human design. Et mon petit plus, c'est que je suis médium. On peut vivre sa vie et passer à côté de l'essentiel, par peur, jusqu'à sa mort. La vie est faite pour être expérimentée, pour évoluer. La peur fige. Et par peur, on peut s'empêcher de vivre ses rêves, de se réaliser et d'apporter sa pierre à l'édifice. Ce qui m’apporte le plus de joie aujourd’hui, c’est de vivre tout simplement de ma passion et de ma vocation pour impacter le monde et aider les autres à prendre conscience d'à quel point, ils sont les créateurs de leur vie et bien plus.”

www.instagram.com/spirit_every_day_by_annerf/
podcasts.apple.com/fr/podcast/spirit-every-day/id1544529576

Laurence

Corteggiani,

Fondatrice, Atelier ikiwa

“J’ai travaillé pendant 20 ans comme directrice marketing et communication au sein de grands groupes du luxe, retail et tourisme en France et à l'étranger. Mon quotidien était devenu très éloigné de ce que j'aime faire et je réfléchissais à une autre voie professionnelle. Une discussion avec Zeva m’a fait prendre conscience que ce que je cherchais à devenir n’était pas quelqu’un d’autre. Je n’avais pas besoin de me réinventer, mais de redevenir moi, en phase avec mes aspirations et mes centres d’intérêts. La voie professionnelle qui était la mienne depuis plus de 20 ans était la bonne, il fallait juste l’exprimer différemment. J’ai donc décidé de créer Atelier ikiwa, une agence de conseil marketing & communication spécialisée dans l’artisanat. J’aide les marques issues de l’artisanat ou travaillant avec des artisans à structurer leur identité et développer leur notoriété. L’agence fonctionne aussi comme un écosystème pour faire connaître et valoriser en France l’artisanat et les artisans d’Asie. Ce qui m’apporte le plus de joie aujourd’hui c'est de créer une histoire, un concept, un visuel, une stratégie pour une marque dont je partage les valeurs, et voir l’étincelle d’excitation dans l’œil de la personne que j’accompagne sur le projet.”

www.atelierikiwa.com
www.instagram.com/atelier_ikiwa

Delphine Tordjman Lipszyc

Accompagnement au développement de projets à impact positif et Fondatrice de Momup

“J'étais directrice générale d'un Lab dans une agence Américaine leader de l'Entertainment. D'être poussé en permanence à la performance et à la compétition pour délivrer n'avait plus de sens. Je n'éprouvais plus ni joie, ni plaisir, alors que j'avais toujours été passionné par mon travail. J'ai voulu une activité plus centrée sur l'humain et sur mes valeurs : le partage, la générosité, la convivialité, l'ouverture sur le monde. Il m'a fallu du temps, un long voyage au bout du monde avant de me lancer dans l'entreprenariat. Aujourd’hui j’ai plusieurs casquettes. Je suis consultante, je collabore avec des entrepreneurs et des organisations pour co-créer des projets à impact positif. J'ai également fondé Momup pour offrir en tant que thérapeute, des services de soins holistiques aux familles (yoga, méditation, séance de relaxation sonore, retraite dans la nature...). J'interviens aussi auprès des entreprises sur ces sujets. Ce qui m’a beaucoup aidé sur mon chemin est d’apprendre à ralentir et dire "non" aux opportunités professionnelles prestigieuses qui n'étaient plus justes pour moi. Je dois beaucoup au yoga et à la méditation pour cela, c'est aussi la raison qui fait que je les enseigne. Ce qui m’apporte le plus de joie aujourd’hui est de voir les gens heureux quand ils sortent d'une expérience Momup ou d'une de mes interventions en entreprise. Les entendre me dire qu'ils se sentent vivants, apaisés, qu'ils ont mieux dormi, les voir rire avec leurs enfants. Et pour la partie conseil et création de projets, avoir des échanges riches, coopérer, découvrir de nouvelles formes de gouvernances pour créer un impact positif social ou environnemental.”
www.momup.fr
www.instagram.com/momupyoga 

Nathalie Fraser

Ecrivaine et coach d'indoor cycling

“Quand j'ai commencé mon travail avec Zeva, j'étais rédactrice en chef de deux magazines de mode. Je sentais depuis un moment que le cœur n'y était plus, mais j'avais du mal à prendre une décision concrète et soudain tout s'est mis en place! Aujourd'hui, si je continue à travailler dans ce milieu en tant que freelance, je suis également coach d'indoor cycling, et je travaille sur plusieurs projets d'écriture. Sur mon chemin je me suis rendu compte que j'étais capable d'oser: oser dire que j'arrêtais, oser tenter ma chance dans un univers qui n'était pas le mien. Donner des cours d'indoor cycling m'apporte une joie et une fierté incroyables: le fait de transmettre ce que j'aime aux autres, de leur faire découvrir mon univers, de leur montrer que si moi je suis capable de dépasser les idées reçues, alors ils le peuvent aussi. C'est d'autant plus frustrant en ce moment avec la fermeture des salles – mais si je trouvais un éditeur pour mon roman, je pourrais oublier ce contretemps.”

www.instagram.com/nathaliefraser/

Agathe Magné

Fondatrice, Take It Slow

“Hier, je m’occupais de diffuser les campagnes publicitaires de grandes corporations principalement sur le digital. J’ai décidé de changer de vie professionnelle pour retrouver mon plein potentiel en m’alignant avec mes valeurs profondes. Aujourd’hui j'accompagne les femmes entrepreneures qui peinent à parler de leur activité. Je les aide à mettre des mots sur leurs pensées et de l’ordre dans leurs idées, à explorer les fondations de leur projet et élaborer une communication qui leur ressemble. J’ai pris conscience que j’avais toutes les ressources en moi pour vivre en harmonie avec moi-même et les autres et ça m’a donné la confiance de me réinventer professionnellement. Ce que j’aime le plus dans mon travail est la liberté de construire un projet qui me ressemble et qui a pour vocation d’aider ceux portés par les mêmes valeurs à rayonner dans leur communication.”

www.instagram.com/__take__it__slow__/

Marine Cossé

Co-Fondatrice, Matriochka

“Avant de rencontrer Zeva, je sortais d'une carrière dans l'édition, où j'avais été éditrice salariée dans de grosses maisons puis avais monté ma propre maison avant de la revendre. J'ai décidé de changer de vie pro parce que je ne me reconnaissais plus dans les valeurs de mon domaine d'activité; j'avais envie d'être alignée à 1000% avec les valeurs de mon job, de m'investir dans un projet qui me fasse vibrer. Ce qui m’a aidé pour avancer sur mon chemin était d’arrêter de chercher trop loin ou trop compliqué: les opportunités étaient déjà là, en face de moi, et que j'avais juste à les saisir. En 2020, j'ai cofondé une startup d'accompagnement parental qui s'appelle Matriochka. Pour l'instant nous proposons des ateliers parentalité, sport et enfants en visio, mais le but est à terme de s'implanter physiquement dans le 15e, avec un café, un espace d'éveil pour les petits, et une salle d'activités. Ce que j’adore le plus dans mon activité aujourd'hui est d’apprendre tous les jours de nouvelles compétences, me sentir utile, travailler avec une de mes meilleures amies, rencontrer des gens passionnants, découvrir de nouveaux horizons; le tout dans le cadre de valeurs auxquelles je m'identifie complètement.”
www.matriochkaparis.fr
www.instagram.com/matriochkaparis/

Sylvie Chayette

Professeur de yoga et meditation

“J'ai été journaliste pendant 20 ans mais à un moment très compliqué de ma vie personnelle, j’ai été victime de harcèlement professionnel. Au-delà de ma douleur personnelle, j'ai été frappée par le manque d'empathie et la cruauté du cadre professionnel. Au même moment, j'ai emmené un proche, très dépressif, à un cours de yoga kundalini. La révélation a plutôt eu lieu pour moi ! J'ai suivi une formation d'enseignant, puis je me suis spécialisée pour enseigner ce yoga transformateur aux seniors et plus largement à tous ceux qui ressentent des limites physiques pour tenir 1h30 en tailleur sur un tapis – et ils sont nombreux. Je me suis également formée à un protocole fantastique de méditation destiné aux seniors, intitulé MBCAS. En méditation, je suis les enseignements hors normes d'un Anglais bouddhiste, Martin Aylward. Un véritable philosophe des temps modernes. Aujourd'hui, je transmets ces enseignements de méditation bouddhiste pour le studio Bloom, au cœur d'un training de 100 heures. Je devrais également rejoindre une plateforme en ligne pour pouvoir donner des cours de yoga en distanciel.”

www.instagram.com/sylvie_chayette/

Clémence Lejeune

Fondatrice, Sacrées Femmes

“Je travaille sur la création d'un espace de santé innovant et bienveillant dédié aux femmes. Avant de commencer mon coaching avec Zéva, j'avais pris la décision de quitter le monde de l'entreprise et mon poste de manager dans le secteur du e-commerce mais je n'arrivais pas à me lancer concrètement sur mon projet. Paralyser par la peur d'échouer et le regard des autres, je n'arrivais pas à sortir de cette phase de transition. Mais ce qui me permet d'avancer sur mon chemin aujourd'hui est le sentiment d'être alignée avec moi-même et avec ma mission de vie. Mettre mon énergie, mes compétences, mon temps au service de l'amélioration de la condition des femmes, est une cause qui me prend au tripes. Cela prendra le temps qu'il faudra mais mon instinct me guide vers l'accomplissement de cette mission. Plus que de la joie cela me procure apaisement et sérénité.”

www.instagram.com/sacrees__femmes/

Client Profile: Clara Moley rewrites Les Règles du Jeu

When I sit down with a client we never really know where our journey is going to take us.  We define the direction and ideal outcome, strap on our seat belts, and go. Months later, our final destination is always infinitely more interesting than anything we imagined before we set out.

It's like packing the car and heading out on a road trip for the beach in Marseille, and then finding yourself on the shores of your own private island, dressed in a fabulous sarong, surrounded by your best mates in a house that's stocked with your favorite foods. 

Which is why I totally love the story of my former client and newly published author, Clara Moley.

Clara worked as a raw materials trader in Brazil for many years. During her time there, she realized that the rules of the game for getting ahead as a woman in a very male industry were heavily stacked against her. And when she tried in vain to get the support and clarity she needed from her entourage or other women in similar situations, she realized that she'd have to invent her own rules. 

Clara nurtured that idea and let it guide her into a personal and professional passion.

Even though she didn't really know where the idea would take her, she let it grow— first into a podcast series and then into Les Règles du Jeu, a riveting memoir and brilliant playbook that just hit the French bookshelves this week.

Clara's journey was filled with doubt and fear.

Exposing your ideas and your story always is,  dear friend.  But it's how you move forward despite the fear that counts the most, how you take control of your destiny by believing that what you have to say far outweighs the risk of exposing yourself to judgement or critique. 

I'm so insanely proud of Clara for conquering her fears and delivering this gorgeous and powerful book to the world.

Please enjoy this interview with her and go buy her book, which you can find in bookstores in France (en français).

Q&A with Clara Moley, author of Les Règles du Jeu: 

1. The message behind your book is very clear: school and work have completely different rules. Being a good student isn't enough in the professional world and effort isn't naturally rewarded. Especially as women, we need to rewrite the rules of the game to get what we want professionally. What experience first sealed that idea for you?
I was asked to deliver a super complicated analysis about market price evolution within a week. I worked full time on it for a whole week, did extra hours to get it right and was pretty satisfied with the results. I was supposed to deliver the results during a Monday morning meeting the following week. The day comes, the meeting goes by the usual way. I see the clock running and no sign from my boss that it's my turn to speak about the analysis. At some point he looks at the clock and goes "OK markets are about to open let's go!" I raised my hand and said, "What about the analysis?" He said there was no time and we'd just get to it the following week. I was SO mad and frustrated when I came back to my desk that I opened an email, put all the conclusions of the analysis in it, graphs, etc and sent it to ALL the traders of the company. Worldwide. About 50 people. THAT moment, that email changed everything for me because for the first time I did something I wasn't told to do. For the first time I took the initiative to do the right thing for me, without being asked or authorized, to promote my work just because I felt it was worth it. What can I do that I wasn't asked to do? That's when my mindset changed. 

2. How did you feel when you realized that you needed a new set of rules to get to where you wanted to be? 
Empowered! The moment I understood that I wasn't the problem, I just had the problem wrong, a new horizon of possibilities opened for me. I felt in charge, meaning that I was responsible for my own path. It was a big change from the passive nature of the school environment. I felt empowered because I realized how of much of the path was actually in my hands. I just needed to explore all of my options. 

3. It's one thing to come up with your own system for navigating the world, but what made you believe that others needed to hear what you knew? What belief took you to the next step of developing your ideas?
The very first step was talking with my girlfriends and realizing we were all going through similar challenges and looking for answers. Working in an all male environment certainly helped me to formulate those answers a bit more quickly. The second step was realizing that amongst everything I had read, watched, and heard about women at work, that none of that content was actually helpful in my everyday life. It was informative and inspirational, but it didn't help me transform my day-to-day struggles. This is what made me believe that there was something missing and that what I had learned in my experience could be helpful to others. I wrote what I wished I had found when I started! 

4. Your book began as a podcast series and you were able to speak directly with the listeners who followed you. What surprised you most about the reactions you got from your audience? 
I was really touched by the reactions I received because many people told me the podcast was useful. That it actually helped them navigate better, understand their environment better and know what to do when they were facing challenges. This was huge for me! It was really important that Les Règles du Jeu was not only a conversation about women at work but something that could actually make a difference. I felt really touched. 

5. When did you realize that there was more to be done with the material and that a book was a way for you to go even further and reach even more women?
For me, Les Règles du Jeu has always been the tip of the iceberg. A very concrete, "actionable" toolbox for everyday life at work. But the reasoning that led me there is much broader and I felt the content needed to be developed. More experience sharing, more anecdotes, more concrete advice for the everyday life, but also more perspective and a full reasoning that helps women adopt the right mindset at work, and an actual method to be able to act and take advantage of every situation at work.  

6. You had to overcome a lot of your own personal doubts and insecurities to get your voice and your ideas into the world. What helped you move ahead despite those fears?
The feeling to be useful and that my experience could help others get the most of their professional situations.  

7. What did you enjoy most about writing this book? What discoveries did you make about yourself and about your subject matter along the way? 
I love writing! But writing a book is so difficult! At first I thought it was like writing a very long essay. It is nothing like it! It takes so much discipline and faith in what you do. I learned how determined I was to bring that content out and how much effort I was ready to put in it. The more I dove in the subject, the more complex it felt, but also the clearer the message of the book became: start with "how." The question of equality in the workplace cannot be globally solved in a day. The causes are too complex and the inertia of a society, a company, a group is too big to see it happen quickly. However it is an urgent matter! Because our careers are happening now, today. So in order to see an actual change at our individual level in the short term, we need to forget the "whys" a little and focus on the "hows:" how can I get the most out of this situation? How can I promote my work better? How can I get more money? etc. And the book answers those "hows." 

8. Of all of the rules, which ones resonate the most for you? 
You cannot please everyone! 

9. Which rules continue to guide you and inspire you to move forward with your projects?
Les plats ne repassent pas. Seize the day!

10. What's the ONE THING that you hope people feel by reading your book? 
Legitimate to give everything they have to reach their goals, and empowered to do so.