Neuroscience Nuggets #8: Who Am I This Time?
Have you ever found yourself deep in a Netflix binge wondering why you boomerang back night after night?
Well that’s what it’s felt like for me the last few weeks, only the Netflix series I’ve been binging on is my past.
Since the world reopened to travel, my mind has been accumulating massive mileage traveling back and forth in a time spiral, digging up old memories of people, situations and places that I haven’t visited in years.
Why now? Is it middle age settling in? Or is there some secret message I’m supposed to decrypt on the great memory train I keep finding myself on?
These questions and the overarching theme of "nostalgia" have been my obsession for the last three weeks, and my fascination has led me to this neuroscience nugget that I’m excited to share with you today.
Recent brain imaging has shown that thinking about our past self is the same as when we're thinking about another person!
That's right, when our brain consciously reflects on older versions of ourselves, it's akin to watching someone else's life unfold.
It’s the brain’s way of distinguishing “me-today” from “not-me-anymore,” which makes space for a more fluid, context-dependent narrative about who we are as we progress in time.
This especially occurs following significant personal shifts, like changing jobs, schools, relationships, and, in my case, changing country, culture and language!
What that means is that from one moment to the next, we really do leave a part of ourselves behind.
When I asked my neuroscience professor why this temporal-identity distancing might make sense from an evolutionary perspective, she said “It allows us to be better attuned to what we need in our lives today.” Makes sense, right?
Wallowing in the past can be an easy refuge from the stressors and responsibilities of today’s prolonged pandemic (and I must admit that’s what’s made my binge so addictive), but we can get much more out of the mileage.
How about, when we find ourselves in a nostalgia tunnel, we ask ourselves: "What energy from past versions of myself do I want more or less of in my life today?"
In my case, that question has brought up some very interesting discoveries.
That I’ve been hovering over my kid's school life in a hyper protective way with the same kind of controlling energy that consumed me decades ago when I tried to help a close friend academically.
That I want to experience the thrill of pouring myself into a complex challenge without knowing where it will take me.
That I have the stamina and focus to buckle down with a long-haul writing project as long as I’m curious about what I’m learning along the way.
That I desperately miss the days of my "no-longer-me" youth when my crew of friends and I would turn every gathering into a raucous dance party heavy on Stevie Wonder and Chaka Khan.
That’s all I’ve got on this neuroscience nugget today but I feel there's more in there to explore.
In the meantime, what about you? What does your “not-me-anymore” self have to share with your “me-today” self about what you want more or less of in your future?
Hit me up and let me know!
PS. I borrowed the name for this post from one of my favorite sleeper movies ever, a short story film with Christopher Walken and Susan Sarandon called "Who Am I This Time," based on a Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. short story. It's brilliant, check it out.